Pain daw.

Everyone is afraid to make mistakes. Whether it’s tripping on the way down of the LRT stairs, having a wrong grammar during recitation, falling in love, watching this horrifying movie or taking this path instead of that…everyone is afraid that they won’t make the right decisions for their lives. Everyone is afraid to feel pain. They are afraid that they’ll just get hurt and bleed inside, outside, in the middle, in their nose?

Pero minsan din naman, kelangan din natin magkamali, madapa, masaktan at mapagalitan.

Kagaya ngayon, pagdating palang ni mommy…hindi na ako tinigilan sa kakadakdak ng sermon. Ang hirap pala maging nanay, mauubusan ka na lang ng laway…araw-araw. Pero, mahirap din maging anak, lalo pag nag-iisang anak na babae. Mahirap makahanap ng kausap na hindi ka-sesermonan at bubusisiin ng todo. Nakakatuwang nakakabaliw. Kaya di na lang ako kumikibo habang nagsusulat dito sa computer.

Speaking of computer, nakakatuwa talaga ang Meralco. Last month, mga P500 lang ata ang singil sa kuryente dahil nagbaba sila at ngayon lang April nagtaas. Ang ironic, kasi last month…umuulan at malamig pa kaya di kami magastos sa kuryente pero ngayon, sobrang init naman kaya grabe ang gamit namin ng kuryente. Back to the computer, baka nalalabi na ang oras ko sa paggamit nitong computer dahil mag-iisang oras pa lang ang gamit ko…buong araw na daw akong nakababad dito.

Actually medyo guilty rin ako. Ang dami ko ring pinanuod na films kanina. Di na ako nanunuod ng local TV shows kasi feeling ko nadedeplete ang utak ko (no offense)…except na lang pag news. Anyway, nagbababad ako sa movies dahil baka may mapulot naman akong kwento, concepts, camera angles, chuva, churva, etchos, stuff, stuff, na kahit ako di ko maintindihan.

Eto yung mga napanuod ko kanina. Wala lang:)

IP MAN

Ip Man is a 2008 Hong Kong martial arts semi-biographical film that is based on the life of Ip Man, the celebrated martial arts master of Bruce Lee, and the first to teach the Chinese martial art of Wing Chun openly. The film focuses on events surrounding Ip that took place in the city of Foshan between the 1930s to 1940s during the Second Sino-Japanese War.

The japanese were bad here. Huhuhu. It's a good film...but somehow, I was looking for something. It's just like watching Fearless, without the really cool effects and just plain old chinese kung fu vs. Japanese martial arts. Or maybe I just need to watch it again??

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

(Italian: La vita è bella) is a 1997 Italian language film which tells the story of a Jewish Italian, Guido Orefice (played by Roberto Benigni, who also directed and co-wrote the film), who must learn how to use his fertile imagination to help his son survive their internment in a Nazi concentration camp.

The really funny dad in the picture...died. And I'm a spoiler for those who are planning to watch. Although, It's not really a choice for most of today's movie goers and is a bit old of a film but I liked it anyway.

DAHIL MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA

Caught this in Cinema One just awhile ago. Corny na kung corny pero fan talaga ako ni Claudine Barreto and Rico Yan. Hindi naman ganun kalala ang acting nung panahon nila at ang aztig kaya! The story is a typical i-was-bad-til-i-met-you-and-i-changed-me-for-you-but-you-broke-my-heart...

But the good thing is, we still end up with each other anyway. Complete with the kontra bida nanay, supposed-to-be fiance and ex-boyfriend. I cried a few tears. A few drops. Haay..Pinoy. If you don't want to think that much and just need a good laugh or cry. Watch 'em, it works all the time for me.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Not really a movie, I was just surfing through my usual choice of channels and saw this. It's one of those moments that I would just watch a show because it is not normal. Like my other favorite shows such as X-files, Roswell and Smallville.

Pero minsan mas gusto kong tahakin ang mga bagay para lang maintindihan...na kahit masaktan at magkamali man, ang mahalaga...desisyon ko yon at kailangan kong panindigan.

But being who I am now, there has been far more restrictions from my parents and my friends, my other friends and those people around me who need to see ME as their eyes wanted to SEE me. Worse, I let them do it. My vision is blurred by my number one enemy. ME.

What is pain? Can you tell me?

Is it really just for us to experience all the weakness in the world or for us to realize that there is also something else out there that would make us feel alive. It's a writer's ink to write great poems, an artist's paint for his canvass, a writer's words for her blog. Except that that writer is not in pain. Oh, di ba aztig nun?

Hindi ako emo. Di naman in-love. Di rin naman confused, medyo lang...Para akong nasa---"Apol! Kanina pa yang sandali na yan ha. Akala ko ba matatapos ka na?"-mommy

If writing and expressing myself would just add up on our electric bills (there were times I would write on my bed using my cellphone's light) and this is just a mistake. If watching these movies were a mistake. If needing to feel pain is a mistake. Weh, di nga?